Today I also submitted what may likely be the last submission to an artist-in-residence that I have not been accepted to for several years. At one point I decided it wasn’t necessary for me to apply, they didn’t seem to find my work or my reasons to attend palatable. I went a number of years without trying. Today I feel the main reason to submit had more to do with the growth that has taken place in the last 7 years of my life. I no longer feel the need to “beg” for people to like my work, it doesn’t validate me. I write because I am a writer, not because people will necessarily listen or buy me a shot of Bourbon (although hey that would be nice!). I say it will likely be my last submission, but these days I like to maintain a better flexibility. Life is much too wise a courtesan for me to ever gain full anticipatory knowledge of what comes next, so I might as well take the lovin’ as it comes. I will end with the last assertion I made to the application, which I tearfully love and more so that I wrote it, the quote is from me and truly what I believe. Let me finish up some housekeeping first.
Although I love talking about film, I am on a bit of a hiatus with the radio show “Film Conscious Feelings.” I am looking to design something more closely associated with my profession. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.
I am also working on honing my dissertation topic to begin working on my prospectus to attain research approval. If I get a good night sleep this may help solve my need to mimic a headless chicken at the moment. There’s lots pulling at my nerve endings at this time and sleep is the only thing to soothe it, albeit seems the hardest for me to achieve lately. I will drudge on through however, because there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I’m going to be steaming through it!
Now a little writer’s philosophy from me before continuing on with the rest of my day.
I have a deep commitment to assisting women overcome their difficulties/limitations and achieve greater actualization of their capabilities and talents. Life has a way of oppressing the spirits of women to the point of losing themselves. I have experienced this systematic dismantling through relationships, jobs, and school. Still, I learned through sparks of light that my power remains. Writing releases those sparks, which is why I encourage it with everyone I meet. A person doesn’t need to be a “great” writer to move others and themselves to greatness; they just need to write.