Things were in high gear since I last blogged. I fasted before doing the Philmchology: A Place At The Table show. I lasted about 3 and ½ days. The first day I was so extremely hungry to the point it almost hurt. I tried to imagine a little child feeling that considering I have much more body girth and fat stores than most children…it was disturbing. The next day my hunger disappeared, which happened much faster than when I have done fasts in the past. It might have something to do with my constant thoughts about how children in America continue to be hungry or starving in a Nation without actual food shortages. Day 3 my stomach was cramping terribly and it hurt, hurt badly. I watched the movie that day and empathetically felt the terror and stress some of the children in the movie discussed going to bed hungry and their inability to focus in school when their stomach was so hungry.
I cried quite a bit and it still tears me up, because it just seems so cruel to allow such a thing in this “land of plenty!” When I broke my fast my eating style changed quite a bit. I cooked up risotto with leeks and wild mushrooms to ease my body into eating again. My intestines took a few hours to get back into dealing with food again, but not in any painful way. In fact I felt really good after eating again, almost happy! It led my thoughts to children who have done without to finally get something to eat and how it would lower their stress for the moment with a content belly. The day that the show aired, well I was a bit of a wet blanket as I urged people to consider the psychological effects of children dealing with constant nutritional deficits in America. My personal thoughts are no child in the world should feel hunger because it severely affects their physical, cognitive, social, and spiritual development. Hunger in America and how it affects our children will never leave my thoughts and it makes me more conscious of my own eating and habits as someone who has been blessed as an adult with ample amounts of food (although this was not the case as a child).
Another update is I finished up my coursework as a graduate student. I passed into my 2nd quarter of the dissertation successfully and began to see more clearly many things in my life and the personalities around me. My tolerance for negative energies is almost completely gone. It doesn’t mean that I am not accepting of others, but I refuse to surround myself with negative input, whether it is news, family, friends, or my own personal thoughts. I believe my radio shows have focused my spirit on better ways of navigating in this physical world. When I performed the 21-day challenge that one of the shows I cohost with friends Lydia and Nina set up, I released worry. Ninety percent of the time I simply let go of worried thoughts as they arose and I found my stress levels draining to the point I felt happier. Chronic stress has been a horrific force in my life and took up too much of my precious attention that is better spent on manifesting the life I have designed and am meant to live. Even my thoughts on “cleaning out clutter” have changed from that to “giving away treasures.” I told my brother I’m just going to get a few boxes and fill them up without considering what’s going into them to avoid that nasty feeling of “that’s mine I need it,” which leaves me still controlled by material items. Today I am the master of my moments forever and I am allowing all I believe to be my destiny to manifest simply, purely, and in the now always!